stressed out

Jon Kabat-Zinn Ph. D., the man you essentially created mindfulness stress reduction teaches Google about how to be mindful. This video is an excellent, simple instruction on how to use the power of mindfulness. If you are not familiar with mindfulness, use this video to be your introduction. Enjoy.

You thought it was bad before, but it’s getting worse. According to a new American Psychological Association (APA) study, a third of us are experiencing extreme stress: “nearly half [of Americans] believe stress is damaging their health, their relationships, and work productivity, and that it has got worse in the last 5 years.”

As our society evolves, the effect of stress increases. Being constantly assaulted by information from the media, pressing decisions, and unending stimulation (which we mistakenly believe is an escape from the other stressors) is causing our stress to grow. All this is occurring as we experience a decrease in resources of time, energy and possibly money. We are squeezed.

Decrease the Irritation

Your first tendency is to change your external world – you try to remove or reduce the stressors in your life. Go for it. Unfortunately, experience has taught me that manipulation of these variables have a limited effect. What you need to change is how you respond to stress, or how you frame it.

A secret to generating a new stress response in yourself is this: give up an old believe or behavior pattern. Maybe you created myths that are not serving you. A common one is: “I should have it all.” This begs the question, what is “all”? If you can redefine your “all” based on what you really need and want, your stress will change.

The myth that “I have to know” or “I must stay informed” sets you up to fall prey to the media’s constant barrage of stress stimulation. Implicit in this myth is that there is always more to know, so you are hooked to your media dealer. Recent research on dreams and stress support this as well as how the news sets up post traumatic stress for children. Because most of society operates under the effects of these myths, it’s easy to miss something insidious: the constant media exposure keeps your nervous system on alert.

By addressing these myths and their behaviors, we remove irritating stimuli from our lives.

Operate from New Beliefs

Go beyond focusing on what you don’t want to what you want. Create beliefs that serve you. Tim Ferriss’ popular book, The 4 – Hour Workweek is one of many advocates of leaving quantity of things for quality of life. The rapid growth of the Slow Food movement supports you leaving fast food to enjoying the experience of eating.

Focusing on being rather than doing is a simple statement. The faster you travel through life, the less aware you are of your experiences. The more hyped you are, the more you look for the next extreme experience that you can really feel. As you allow yourself to go through withdrawal from over-stimulation and constant arousal, you need less intense and less frequent stimulation to feel alive. If you constantly over-salts your food, you never get to experience the true flavor of what you’re eating.

A difficult belief to leave behind is one the belief that you don’t deserve healthy relationships. Do a survey of you relationships and ask yourself, “Am I losing or gaining energy from this relationship?” If you’re putting more in than you’re getting out, make a shift in that relationship. Speak what you truly feel and want. As you hold true to yourself, the relationship will either shift, or end. But either outcome is for your benefit.

As you take risks to speak your truths, take risks to pursue your passions. Yes, this can be stressful. The stress from moving forward in life tends to have a different effect than being at the mercy of life. It’s analogous to the stress of getting in shape—painful at first, perhaps, but the process becomes fun, and the results are always enjoyable.

I invite you to transform your extreme stress into extreme pleasure. Find role models for this; there may not be many, but they are out there. Often these are people who walked away from “success” to pursue a deeper desire. Ultimately, you may prove to be role model for others.