Are You an Angry Man?
When you are driving down the road and someone cuts you off – do you salute the person with your finger as you shout your feelings to them? If you do, you may be one of the 10 million men in the
This article is included in three posts.
How anger becomes rage
Anger is a healthy emotion, just as fear and sadness are. Anger becomes unhealthy when it stops being a natural response to violation or possible violation. Instinctually, we have anger as a means to vend off threats to our boundaries.
You might observe your dog growl at your cat when it looks like she will be eating some of his food. As a father, you protect your kids. If a stranger comes up to your daughter and starts to take her away – your anger will kick in.
Over the course of anyone’s life, there are many situations where anger is experienced but not expressed. As a child, anger is often not allowed. As an adult, there are many social situations where you learned to do the right thing and kept your mouth shut. The accumulation of unexpressed feelings impacts your physical body as stored stress, much like throwing your unwanted junk down in the basement.
A minor irritant occurs and then suddenly you are raging. Your head is possibly saying this shouldn’t be a big deal, yet you are screaming at the sales clerk because a bag ripped. The repressed anger from past events starts to release some of its charge as you rage. For a few moments, you feel better, as if you just had a cigarette. Then the shame comes from expressing unjustified anger.
Post traumatic stress of anger
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is now a common term used to explain how incomplete stressful experiences allow stress to accumulate, creating an aftereffect. The soldier who is under constant stress of never knowing when the next mortar round will come in never experiences the completion of the trauma cycle. We are hardwired to experience stress or trauma, then have the time and space to release that stress by literally shaking it off. When a soldier doesn’t get the chance to shake off the stress, the stress builds. He returns home to safety, but his mind and body are still back in the war.
When anger becomes its own PTSD, it becomes rage. The soldier jumps when a car backfires; you chew out the sales clerk when the bag rips. The stimulus does not warrant the reaction.
To be continued….